So entertainment’s getting a bit thin on the ground here in Hotel Quarantine, but one thing has kept us on our toes. Things have been going bump in the night. Random. Blam. We thought at first it was electrical — maybe something to do with the dishwasher. But last night…

Johnny is a rescue greyhound. He’s gorgeous. Five years old, looks 100, black fur with a grizzled snout and a chocolate smear for a smile. While walking him the other day, he did some rock hard poos — and didn’t stop to drop ’em. Ping. Ping. Ping they fell the vast distance from his arse to the footpath where they bounced like marbles. A man walking by laughed at the sight. “I had a rottie who did that.” He mimed walking his Rottweiler, and having to dance around the newly laid turds on the pavement. “I must have over-reprimanded him, because he started backing into a bush and hiding them.”

Mangosity. Theoretically we’re in the home stretch here in Camp Quarantine — but it feels more like a holding pattern. I’ve been doing my best to maintain a routine, but when my phone told me I was averaging 7 and a half hours a day on social media (that’s a…

So we’re passing the half way mark. And a rhythm is emerging: I stay up late. Scott (the husband) goes to bed early. I wake in the middle of the night. Go back to sleep. He wakes at 6am and reads. At 8 am there’s the rustle of paper behind…

The days are starting to blur. I remembered staying up late to make sure that Donald Trump left the White House (I escorted him off the premises by proxy.) As it turned out, the time difference got me and I could barely wait to see him airlifted out like a…

After the nurse glued my head back together, she told me not to put any pressure on the wound. Not to sleep on it. Which was difficult, because it was on the back of my head. Undaunted, and exhausted, I went to bed and fell asleep. Until — bang —…

I thought twice about writing this — because it’s got a bit of gore in it, and some sweary swear words… but then decided too — because it’s funny, and because all’s well that ends well — so…. We made it out of Europe — on the last flight if…

The Husband and I were having one of those moments in a relationship where all the magic has run out, and the only answer is to run out after it. I’m a great believer in the healing power of adventure, so we got in our the car and drove off…